The Beauty of Growing Older

“The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,but true beauty in a Woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.” 
― Audrey Hepburn

Life got all types of sudden high energy tonight within my soul .... in the weirdest of ways & in the calmest and most aligned yet not at all aligned but completely intended in its own time of beautiful messy, as life is, type of way. 

I, yes me, got excited about growing older. 

Growing older, in my experience from a child to a girl to a teen to a woman, is quite the journey ... but one thing that I never changed my opinion about was that "i was going to stop going up in number at some point and I will never grow older." 

The thought of my 30s was straight not going to be spoken of. 

I wanted to see and feel and be "young' foreva & never lose that vibe or energy that is associated with "young" 

I've wanted to climb many ladders in my life, figuratively speaking and physically at some points, but never ever the age ladder. 

As I've grown older .... my mind continues to be thrown into critical thinking, awe opening, mind blown & connectingly questioning types of ways - that I never even thought to channel as a teen. 

Today and this evening I spent the majority of my time connecting with women, in all types of deep ways, that I never experienced as a young girl 

A fearless type of conversation style where realness was the epitome of the conversation. 
Where the conversation rotated to questioning and hearing and ending in support and future growth. A conversation where life straight up happened, where authenticity was so thick and present, and where absolutely no sugar coating was welcomed. No agenda, no rushing, no one person more valued to be heard or to speak over the other and where laughter was intertwined with the hardship that is life at times. 

As I've grown older ... life has gotten realer. 

And in all honesty more beautiful. 

As a woman, from my perspective, growing older has meant many many things... 

I feel much more strongly about things, many things 
My life experiences have jaded some views, amplified others, and have assisted my in gathering quite a collection of "to dos and do not ever do" wisdoms 
I've realized how some parts of my journey align with what's going on in my world, in my soul, and in mind and heart today - not only is that freeing in a sense but it's also just straight up powerful to see your world today align in a divine nonsense "I'll never understood why this happened" way 
My mom gives me really tacky "Best Mom Ever" shirts and I definitely have no shame that I wear it bc being a mom is straight up the best gift and blessing in my life, regardless of your opinion about how young and unwed I became one  
I've gained strength and had enough time pass, in some instances, to see and be able to take in some of my resilience and see it's impact 
My beliefs, my stances, and my opinions are strong and unwavering due to the time it's taken to feel so passionately about them 
I have hated my body for so long that there is a relationship with my physical body, now, that I can't really put into words... we've been through it and I will never take it for granted and love it much more intimately
I am able to see my physical body as a work of art full of story's that both can give love to those who are hurting and that I need to pour love into as things continue to change 
I have lived to tell the story ... in many different arenas and that's just all types of weird, hard to fathom, and cool all in one 
I know my capabilities, my strengths and I've made friends and acquaintances with my areas of growth .... as we often still bicker disagree and butt heads  
I am able to now thank those who impacted my life so powerfully through certain chapters because I am not in them any longer 
I know where my passions lie, I know what my gifts are and I have learned how to channel them and seek growth 
I see, feel and can experience friendships and realness and I cherish those moments
My time is so so precious and I see it as just that, precious. 
I know more of the woman I am and I can love her now in that space while allowing her to still grow and learn and fall and get back up 
I know my people & I can pour into them, love them, and ask them, when I too need that reciprocated 
I know when I'm struggling, I know how to listen to within, and I know how to effectively channel what I need to & when I don't ... I accept grace and allow myself to be humbled to realize it's ok to not know it all 
I have dreams due to me genuinely knowing where I feel I'm intended to be and what I'm intended to do
I have begun to whole heartedly invest in my legacy because I now know what I would love to leave behind in so many ways 
I can make decisions for myself, knowing what is best for myself, and not need gratification or approval when it comes to my future 
I can set boundaries finally, and still love people in the process 
I can legit lay on the couch, put candles on and my awesome little lights, with full intention to watch a movie, and instead spend it in conversation with some amazing humans that are living learning and completely real with me in that space 
I value other souls, I value their gifts, their love for loving me, their dreams, their passions and I think women are straight up powerful 
I have gained wisdom & I have gained an education and I'm at a point where I feel confident enough to use it while so so eager to dive into more 
I see relationships as such a gift and I honor those who are authentic and so human and can be whole heartedly right in that space 
I can stand strong in this woman, because it's taken years to be her & I will not abandon her 

When you grow older ... things get real, because life has been real, and when you grow older .... you get that, because you have felt it, experienced, been surrounded by it, listened to it, spoke on it, and done something about it. 

You've had awe moments that have cause your life to shift, morf, and guide you in different directions. All turns, are a different story, a different chapter of your life and a different meaning for you, to you, and that makes you ... YOU. They do not define you but they add to the pieces that make your magical and fierce unique puzzle, which is you. 

My conversations today, made me realize that where I am in life today, due to life & the years that have already passed my timeline, assisted my in being in those dynamic and beautiful conversations, conversations that are most definitely a pivotal part of life & fully experiencing it in its realness and in its intentionality and its authenticity. 

Ive recently heard that the 30s are some of the greatest years of your life ...

Those numbers this evening, ran over me this with such peace and rejuvenation and a tiny itsty bit of excitement 
& today I feel like I understood some of that "30s are the best" Mumbo jumbo 

Life will most definitely continue to happen & I will most definitely continue to grow older  .... 

But If life just continues to get as soulful and intentional and beautiful as this , I can deal with being a woman that fiercely claims every single year.

How does growing older resonate with you? 

Sending love, 
The Soul Grind


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