The Masks We Wear- Vulnerability

"Vulnerability is scary, but pure. 
In it you can find bravery." 
Raquel Franco


Hello all you 

courageously brave vulnerable souls-- 


So.... 

I have a question In regards to vulnerability 

hold tight with me please as I get to it ...


The question begins with an overview of how society views "vulnerability" 

& how we have, in turn, internalized that term and created our own personalized versions

possibly due to 
our upbringing, 
those who have impacted our lives, 
institutions
media, 
family, 
experiences 
and the different paths of life we have traveled 
whether we chose them or they were chosen for us. 

After that explanation we can dive deeper into the question --

"what are the masks that we wear?" 

In this instance and in most times, 
we put on these masks to cover our own truths- 
so that,at all costs, 
we may avoid feeling 
and most definitely avoid bringing these sacred feelings outside of our heads and hearts and into the world. 
(Terrifying) 

In doing so, by speaking these masks into existence, 
we claim we know they make themselves present 
and that we place them intentionally during certain moments and times in our daily lives. 

It's difficult for us to be able to remove something we feel doesn't exist or that we've refused to acknowledge exists, 
so the claiming it itself- 
is powerful and brave.

If we choose, 
these masks can be slowly removed through this awareness and can bring forth the authenticity that is desired
a freedom 
to bare our souls to whom we see fit. 



Behind the masks are powerful truths--- 


We feel. 
We are human. 
We disagree. 
We disappoint. 
We want to make our own decisions. 
We make mistakes, over and over. 
We aren't perfect & we don't meet expectations. 
We struggle. 
We hurt so deeply we can feel our hearts ache. 
We grieve even when we don't have time to. 
We help others, listen, give and love when we can't even find a way to love ourselves. 
We give time and say "yes" too often when we just need a minute and evening of peace and solitude. We tell you it's ok and we forgive you when really we are full of rage.
 We tell you "everything is fine" when really we are so broken it's hard to get out of bed. 
We listen over and over again when all we crave is to be heard.
 We shut off, cut off and put on a mask that screams from our body language that we would rather be alone when really we fear connection and being disappointed,

 (insert your mask here). 


My warrior 

and tough skin, 
at times, can be my mask.
It can also be exactly what I need and desire on some days
but Man, so badly do I want to be the woman who is 100% healed 
and doesn't look back with a 
knot in my stomach, 
sleepless nights, 
tear filled eyes, 
and Shame 
that I still have much work to do on myself.

I've honestly never been the woman who has said "I just can't wait to get back to feeling myself" 

I'm the woman who wants to be 
wiser,
smarter, 
more empowered, 
more loving, 
more patient, 
more awakened, 
deeper in my healing,
 farther in my growth, 
and more gracious with myself when I get caught in all my feels. 

Yes, I stand strong with my survivors and with those who 
advocate, support, and empower them
but I also 
lose sleep, 
cry, 
hit the gym, 
look at the mirror and criticize, 
sob when I get my moment of candle lit quiet, 
and have my baths with Trevor hall softly playing in the background 

& fall flat on my knees and weep because I'm not all healed yet with the best of them. 




HAVE unconditional love 

for when things take longer than you plan is why grace is still so important. 


I claim

that I'm so not all the way healed yet my people 
but 
I also claim
that I acknowledge I want to be all the way healed 
from the many journeys, obstacles, abuse and dark moments of my life. 
I also claim 
that everyday I gracefully and with all love will try my absolute best to let all of me be shown, 
in every part of my growth & to be seen in this place -- 
because those moments
 are me , 
in my authenticity, 
in my absolute bravest moments 
and in and from these moments 


I will become the woman I am striving my damn hardest to be. 


What are your masks my loves?

What is your truth behind them? 

What are you keeping from the world? 


If you want to be heard and seen and claim anything -- feel free to claim under this post or spend some time in your feels while your hands hit a journal tonight or in conversation with one who is deserving of seeing your brave authentic self , if not - know I'm on the journey with you & you brave one --- you are not alone 




Sending love, 
The Soul Grind

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